he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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