i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
