We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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