I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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