All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
