I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
