I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She bit a glass in half.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
