i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Can I color on your dick again?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My vagina just clenched in fear
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
