why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
