i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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