They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
