turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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