I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
