My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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