I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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