his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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