hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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