Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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