smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
there is puke in my bra ... again
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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