The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Randomize
