I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
