Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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