Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
