maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
