Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
