Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
