Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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