and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
