I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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