but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
