Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
