did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
