this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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