super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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