If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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