i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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