super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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