If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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