And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
only if we run a train.
done.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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