you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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