no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
