alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
