Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
