Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
