I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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