Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
