Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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