The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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