just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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