im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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