Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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