i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
