We won't sleep together?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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