Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
