that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
