last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize