The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
