Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize