He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize