ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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